In this article, we will touch on the topic of Femininity, the Heart & Comfortable in our skin through my journey in Mrs Singapore Beauty Pageant that is organised by TKS Mrs International. I was invited to participate in this journey through 2 beautiful lady entrepreneurers, Ms Yanni Yong and Ms Ariel-Tac Loh. I am very grateful and happy to have embarked on it. It is an extension of my soulful journey as a woman. It is an application of integration of all my collected learnings through the years, especially the intense dark periods of end 2018 – mid 2023. I must say, with every learning, the blessings I receive deepens and widens through the insights and epiphanies I experienced. And moving forward, I wish to use the opportunities through my presence, the little things I do in the daily moments and through the work I offer here, to give and provide to those I am meant to cross my journeys with. Here, I do my part to nourish the femininity within us and integrate the already masculine excellence we have together with it, to enjoy a fuller mental, emotional and physical welbeing.
Now, back to my orientation experience where I got my crown, sash and many lovely items to be equipped with for this journey. I remembered the day when i got the chance to meet my fellow beauty queens and sisters for the first time. It was a thumping heartbeat as I met them silently eye-to-eye and with smiles. I noticed my inclination to want to leap over and say hello and engage in conversations. However, being in a formal event, we needed to observe decorums, so I spent the time to observe the surroundings and enjoy the sights my eyes rested on – be it people, fixtures, colours, items and even myself. It was a form of mindful exercise and I had loads of fun. It was also very interesting listening to the tones, pace of speech and content as each speaker took turns to introduce themselves and share their purposes. Lots of data about their journeys and their motivations were picked up, be it tension, tears, laughter, drive, anxiety, confidence, devotion, care and more. At the end of it, what remains was this warm fuzziness that we are beautiful women, with our own individual styles, and so alike in human-ness. There was a deep sense of unspoken connection.
In the next part, I shall focus on sharing 3 concepts:
- Femininity,
- Comfortable in own skin,
- A heart that shines
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Femininity.
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What is it?
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From Google, it means qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of women or girls.
It goes beyond basic grooming – wearing skirts, pretty shoes and jewellery, keeping long hair, putting on make-up and hair accessories, or eating in small bites, sitting demurely and small laughs with a hand covering part of the mouth.
At deep levels, it is about embracing being female: the nurturing, supporting, gentle, compassionate, loving, embracing qualities because we are enough to be and give. There are elements of knowing and understanding without having to say much. Femininity is about flow, receptivity, patience.
Feminine also cares, provides and demonstrates strength, like the masculine. But the main difference between the strength of a feminine and of a masculine can be described through elements in nature:
Is feminine important?
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Yes, it is. Especially in today’s world, where it is no longer sufficient to focus on driving results, strategising, planning, organising, pushing, taking actions, review and doing again… one way… multiple ways. These are all the ways of masculine. After a while, we become drained. Our machines (body) will signal the need to rest, to reflect, to nourish, play, enjoy fun and even doing nothing at all. These are the feminine aspects surfacing.
So you see, our systems have a natural regulator to create a harmonious balance and rhythm. It is important to listen to it, so that we can function optimally.
The more intense we go into either masculine or feminine, the more we need the other side to balance it.
That’s a beauty of being human.
What are the conditions to nurture feminine?
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Since the 1st industrial revolution to the present era, there is a gradual shift and recognition to relook at femininity as a way to address issues that have mushrooming due to strive, power, force, active drive and production.
To nurture feminine:
- Listening
- Quietening
- Self-love
- Integration
- Softness
- Sincerity
- Compassion
- Empathy
- Timelessness
- Surrendering
- Grace
- Flow
- Collaboration
- Stillness
- Forgiveness
- Allow
- Acceptance
- Being
A heart that shines.
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What is it?
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It is simply the pure, wholesome heart that speaks with us when we are quiet and listening. The heart who is willing to give its all, do things with no doubts, fear or anxiety; the courageous act of love to soothe and shield another in times of danger with no regard to themselves or worst case scenarios; the sincerity to speak its truth with no regard to how others will judge and comes after. Just to name a few. It just goes on and it has so much trust, love and compassion in it. It understands another. There are no questions. Just silence and ease. Very often, as the heart opens and strengthens, the person matures in emotions. It shows up as emotional intellilgence and emotional resilience. There isn’t a need to prepare in advance or to plan and organise. It knows exactly what to do in the moment and it has a foresight to see beyond and resolve things to every moment. Every solution is unique.
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Comfortable in our own skin.
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What is it?
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It means we are simply comfortable being ourselves anytime anywhere. Our bodies are at ease. We speak our truths simply without a need to curate a speech to impress, satisfy or buy-in others. Neither do we need to cover up and hide aspects or attributes that we think are not acceptable or might be embarrassing.
To cultivate this, one of the first steps is to examine our belief systems and values and harmonise the experiences attached to them. Next is to develop a true objectivity through non-attachment and to widen the trough of perspectives that we have.
We have covered a few aspects of femininity, a heart that shines and comfortable in own skin in this article. May you be inspired or become reminded to nurture the feminine aspect with ease within you, regardless of gender.
If you do not know where to start, you can browse through the website and embark on one of the journeys that we provide. We focus on nurturing these areas. Alternatively, engage in creative works or arts that nurture femininity. One step at a time! Have fun!
